In Defence of Femininity

Over the past few months, I've been examining myself and my identity as a woman. I've been looking at what I naturally value for myself, what modern culture expects from me, and what traditional values state. I'm a regular follower of the website Feelin' Feminine be it that I am not Christian or Jewish, and on the flip side I've watched videos by lacigreen and such on youtube for the opposite point of view, so I think I have a pretty good idea of both sides. I think I've got myself sorted out for the most part.

While, I'm not the most patriarchal person, because I've been given reason not to be, I do believe that men who actually do their job behaving like men and take on the responsibilities of men deserve to be recognized for their actions the same way women are emulated in the public world. I believe that if more positive messages were being given out to boys and men, telling them that being a man involves taking responsibility for women ei. not just sitting on the couch, possibly after a 9-5 workday, and demanding sex, then there would be less chaos in the private world. Reversely, I believe that women who "do too much", work a full day, take care of the kids, cook, clean, tend to their husband/boyfriend, aren't helping the situation either, because if they assume responsibility of everything, then the man isn't going to just suddenly becaume a chivalrous knight in shining armor for no reason.

I also support modesty rather than the "if you got it, flaunt it" mentality. Modesty makes me feel comfortable and secure in myself. It takes more than the right set of genitals to be a lady, and in the same way it takes more than a generous set of fabric over one's body to be modest. Modesty is more about drawing attention to oneself in a positive manner rather than a vulgar one. There is much more respect shown to a kind girl who can be percieved as beautiful without being outright sexual, rather than an outwardly confident and loud girl who makes use of nothing but her carnal appeal.

When it comes down to it, femininity is really a matter of perception. From every side of the spectrum, everyone's calling each other oppressed, overworked, undervalued, underappreciated, and asserting themselves sole as the "free" women of the world that don't face the plights that other women do. The best thing is to just evaluate the options, go with the most reasonable one, and ignore the backlash of different societies calling you crazy.